Spacing out

Been in that feeling again. When 2 people just started together, many get the feelings of having the powerful urge to stay together. Together for a long long time and to spend every minute of their time enjoying themselves and hanging out as one. Friends tried really hard to talk me out of it. Most tell me its too fast too soon. Some told me things like in one fine day, I will feel the need of lacking of personal space. There I told them, I got no secrets to hide and nothing that I cant tell. So why will I feel in one day, the lack of personal space? Most told me that it will happen. I want to prove them wrong and I told them that it will not happen.

Recently, I do feel the invasion of personal space or the lack of it. Nothing with the invasion of privacy, like I say, I got nothing to hide. But just that feeling of not being able to do things as I prefer alone, but to work many things out as a team. Its not easy. I envy those couples that could do this for years without the feelings of the lack of space.

In the cosmo city that we live in, where people live so near to each other. The slight peek of the windows sometime even enable you to view the life of theirs so clearly, so why is there is need for personal space?

For the last few period, I would get to do things alone. To feel arty, to feel bitchy, to feel the mood that sets me in during this night and day. Gemini I am, logical and emotional all roll in one. One minute I can set my sights far and wish to work towards to future, the every next moment, I will cast my crystal ball and wish to see the future.

So used to the feeling of having moods that set me, suddenly, the collabration with someone else of the totally different planet crashed mine. With the sights sets at different speed, the mood that swings in totally different direction, sometime it’s a hit, sometime, a miss.

With the ability to fuction as a whole has got the plus point but with inability to function as one, serve me to a complete lost. One side of me enjoy the ability to have a partner who share with me, the other side of me felt lost without the ability to function as 1 person.

With all the great things that had been happening to me, why does this small minor point made me feel so left out? Why does this small little point seems so strong and so to bothered me?

Behind the great relationship, is there other things that have to hold the relationship together? After staying together, I got insecurities about some stuff about him. Was it me who think that it is bothersome or does it justify the clouds that had been hovering me?

Had a quick to fly by weekend

and here I am, doing the updating....

Friday was gorging time. Went to cartel for dinner and I think PMS came to me. Had to urge to scream and bitch, so my dear had to be the victim. Nice enough of him to withstand my bitching. When we were are cartel, the lady wrote down a list of food UNAVAILBALE. Hence I pick the other food in the menu that were deemed to be available, however, they came to me later and claim that the food I that I ordered from the AVAILABLE list is UNAVAILABLE. That turned me bitchy, hence I asked the waitress : “why in the 1st place never write?!” she stared. Omg, she stared?! Stare at what?! Thinking that I can read her mind or will the answers pop out from nowehere?! Idiot people!! Idiots are made of people of the country that I despised! Anyway, the dinner made us damn full and we had to struggle our way back.
Went to yu ren shen at tampines mall and we decide to get some gifts for my parents when we are catching them for dinner on sat. bought abit of things and I wanna pay for them with my HSBC as I am accumulating the points. Digging my purse, my flip through my cards and cant find the HSBC. The bitchy sales auntie had the cheek to say “ wah! U got amex, master, visa.. why don’t use?” that irked me A LOT. So I told the auntie off saying that I got the money to pay and I just prefer the other card and requested for the auntie to shut up. The bitch in me surged once more!

Sat got me excited and I sleep through the night. Dear got woken up by DT for like 2 times and as usual, he woke up to open the door for him and being spoilt brat, he did not want to pee.. jus wanna bark and to be manja. Guess only my dear can tolerate him. I slept through noon and by the time I woke up and to switch my phone off from flight mode, I got like 5 miss calls from my boss. Anyway, since I am not suppose to be working, I don’t feel like returning his calls.
DT chewed a mag off the coffee table, because he had poo at the rag 2 days back.. I used the magazine to beat him and this morning, he shocked me by digging out that magazine and chewing it to bits! It happened like 2 days back and he could still remembe which magazine I had beaten him with! Dear said not to beat him so guess I got no choice but to endure MR SPOILT brat and his attitude. Dear was so proud of DT for remembering which magazine had I used to beat him. Damn!
Rush out of the house to meet my family in the evening and I guess dear got nervous. He was like freaking out. The meet up was successful and DT was there to act as a distraction from him. Wahaha lucky him!
We had to rush to pawtobello later in the night and DT snore all the way there.
Surprise surprise, when we were there, DT got alert and start to sniff and kaypoh. Belle got mud loaf and DT had to stare, stand and want to get a bite! Lucky for him, bobby din want the mud loaf and DT gets to eat all he want. Enrica looks damn hot in her outfit and robert look sleepy… wahhaahah PJ what! Miss Jo!! If only she and jeff could come!
The night was damn fun!! Met up with irene too.. roski is as cute as always… I always tend to call out to “ Roski roski roski roski!~” and he will excitedly wag is cute tail and go wag wag wag… lolz… DT had fun sniffing and being cuddled by lotsa women.. he pee / poo at right places. Saw facai and damn he is a sight for sore eyes! So cute! Matlese cross westie.. but cute nonetheless. Still so small that I feared to hold him. So light! Remind me of those days where DT was like 6 mths old. Also that small!
There was a westie pup who keep chasing the boys in the café. She started to chase DT and irritate him a lot. DT bark, princess barked back. DT whine, princess whine back. In the end, princess saw that DT got no interested in her and back off to a new target – facai. Poor facai, he had to keep running away from princess. Wahaha turbo and 5th gear! In fast forward motion the 2 of them ran! Wahah so cute!! Facai’s owners were like so scared and had to keep their eyes on the poor trama boy.. running with tail down, no a good sign of the boy’s 1st outing.
Anyway, princess’s owner is as itchy as her. With princess chasing after boys, her owner was there showing her off her black panty. With dress that is as short as my baby doll top ( I wore shorts) she got nothing under. And she just keep bending down to show everyone her black panty. Sight for puke I would say. Anyway she is not pretty. Enrica is like so much hotter!!
Ended the night with a smelly DT in the car and he was still excited when we were driving back home. Good gathering for him.. seems like he buck up a lot since the last time and he started to mix around more.

Ok.. more to my wkend but that’s all I can remember so far..

facai with mummy , me & DT , enrica with bobby, robert with belle, irene with roski!!!

DT scared of the dark

For the past few nights since I came home from my parents’ seems like DT is scared of dark. Since Sunday, everytime we off the light, DT either grr or bark or whine… often choosing to hide in a corner of the room under the study table or to bark at us for our attention.

Since the beginning, every time DT bark, we will open the door to let him out.. either to pee or to tramatise the neighbours. Recently, we had chosen to ignore his barking and seems like can sleep through the night with no problem. Just that he seems to have problem with in the dark. Wonder why will dogs be afraid of the dark? Hmm

Anyway, we choose to let the dim light in the room on for last night. Grr-ing stop after 30 second. Guess we will have to pop by the supermarket to get the night light and to see how things go. I remember DT hating yellow lights… will try to get some white lights and see if I can calm him down more.

So jaded by his barking for the past few days.. lets just hope it will end soon. In need of my sleep.

gai gai lo!

Met dear at bugis today. saw the sales guy that i saw the last time. 1st question asked by him "huh? go shopping again ar?" zzzzzzzz do i look like a shopping queen!? Omg! damn sianz!!! how on earth did i generaete such an impression!!!!

grrrr anyway, my intention was to go shopping...
went to bugis village and seems that i did not get much clothes as anticipated. in the end, got a white shorts (haha i can still fit into a size S) and 2 tops ONLY. lolz.... my high heels made my ankles hurt from the high heels that i was wearing but damn! i had to get my clothes! in need to get new outfits anyway... lolz dear dear was nice and allow me to try ALL the clothes that i can lay my hands on.. but did not seems to find clothes that fits me.. either too big or too too big.. lolz..

New outfits for the weekend!!!!


DT sniffing my green halter and white shorts

small white spags that i loveeeeeeeeeee

desert! lolz... yummy!

anyway, now back home and watching teebeeeee. dear did not snatch teeeebeeee from me so i get to watch the dancing tvb drama.. lolz

addiction?

watch 1 ep of season 5 of satc. Anchors away the title. Did not actually get to finish the ep due to the fact of someone snatching the tv from me. Anyway had to give up my satc for garo.. damn my dear! Snatching the teeebee from me! Not that of a show so far…. Sob sob!! I want my teeeeeeeeeebeeeeeeeee back!

Had the whole singnet broadband down at his place, hence had to give up crunchy roll.

Anyway with him hogging the teeeeeeeebeeeeeeeee and me not being able to hear my lappy..( no earphones ) I had to just give it up. Bye bye!

Was reading through jo’s blog and found myself being glad to not to be in her situation. Having the trouble to go through apartments.. worrying about MILs, worrying about cleaning up the apartment after a havey day at home.. I am just plain glad that I do not have to go through this. I mean the only few things that I worry is for the health of DT, having enough time for shopping, catching up and bitching around with my pals. Nothing to the extend that jo had to worry for. Lucky me..

Oh ya, I had officially conclude that I am a spoilt brat. All thanks to my dear who pampers me and spoilts me a lot. Any tiny bit of nagging / whimpering / bitching by me will in immediate effect, turn him into a pillar to rely on and big teddy bear that cushion my firey temper. You know that I appreciate every bit of dote by you.

I used to think that being pessimistic is like a lotion, that we apply daily with a routine and there is no hope for positivity, till I met u.They say hope is like a drug, which we had to learn to get off of or a drug that is used to keep us alive, but I am glad, that I shall need the drug no more as when you came to my life. The addiction of hope subsides and in replacement is a cure for this addiction with a faith for a neverending un-winding road.

yawn~!~!

We both tried to sleep early last night. plan to sleep at 11pm.. in the end, DT spend the night grrr-ing and trying to irritate us by jumping on us and creating a din! grrr! got piss off with him.. but guess he knew that he irritate us so he try to win some points by kissing us ALOT. anyway, dear and myself took turn to take care of that spoilt brat of ours.. gosh! we need our sleep!!!

the on and off of sleeping in the night turn me into a light sleeper. damn it! my dark circles seems to be turning real bad.

anyway, plan to put on some nice eyes mask tonite.

out after work

work is packed today. losta back lot report to run and many not finalised. my boss seems to be staying more n more away from office. anyway its a good thing. the heavy down pour today made me late for work. lucky for me, he was not in till 11am.

went off to funan to catch my dear after work. the real reason was to meet up with my cousin to get back my speedy. i lent it to her for the last 1 mth and she unwillingly return to me. bitch! if i had known that she is this kind of person i would have never lend it to her. she ruin my lock too! anyway, got her to compensate for me and i will surely get a new lock for it. supposed to meet my dear after collecting back my bag but he was not ready. the vain me went to the ladies and transfer my barangs from my gucci document tote to my speedy. haha... went to times and managed to catch 3 interesting titles. had not been reading for the longest time and i am sure to read my fill. 2 carriers in 1 hand, 1 lv speedy.. damn i look like a shopping queen. caught my dear and his sales guy and that the guy's impression of me! darn! cant be that bad right!

came home after taking away subway.. yummy! just love love my subway! gorging it... haiz.. mon ending soon.. tue.. here i crawl...

back to basic

just change my blog skin to something simple.. lolz.

well.. back to basic they say

panic attacks

had been having the pain of having to go thru gastric pain for the last few wks.. on and off the pain came. really hurts alot.. to the point of myself having to curl up like a baby.

grrr pain!

Back to satc

Way long before the I know the exsitence of HK dramas dvd, I faithfully had been watching any HBO series that I can lay my hands on.
Watching carrie bradshaw with her heels, dresses and relationship problems are things where peeps can relate to and the wonder of relating to them!
I shall sit down and run through them .. I promise.. lol
The season 5 and 6 of satc brought me back the long lost memories after season 4. fen and myself use to be such satc fans!! That brings me to my dear fen.. I remember knowing her while doing part time at a local bank answering phone calls… we had to travel in mrt all the way back to our home which is like so near so each other! I forgot who contacted who 1st and I forgot who made the effort to call each other. In the end, this love is still going strong. She had been my bestest fren.. being with me through my ups and downs and my sucky r/s. she waitness my fall, failures and happiness! We know frens belonging to each other and we call them our own.. we know each other’s family.. fen is always by my side… in the west… we stay so near to each other…. Now having our respective partners.. we are still so near to each other in the east! Fen!! Move to the east leh! Lolz.. anyway.. the thought of watching satc jus remind me of her…
Fen.. love u!!

out with yix.. kb... vern... woohoo!

Had a great outing with kb / vern and yix… had not meet up with the gals for a long long time.. lolz.. yup! Yix is classified as GAL. met up with him first at the mrt station and we chatted all the way to catch vern. Who for once, is early!!! Lolz! As usual, our dear cute kb is LATE… but nonetheless, we had such fun horsing around with vern. Pick out our ciggies for the usual smoke break and damn yix, if u wanna have a puff.. just puff… acting so innocent with the “no smoking” sign over your head is such a unforgivable behavior!! Baby vern hates the ciggies but yet being the sweet gal that she always is, she choose to endureeeeeeee us.
Excitedly, the arrival of kb made us quicken our pace to far east, to show off vern’s rumour and yes.. my pal of years and years and counting.
Teasing vern along the way and seriously.. she blush.. ** so cute **! When was the last time I blush this way! Haha! Not for you to know.
Omg! Meng meng had a hair cut!!! Since army days, I had not known him to cut his hair, not that bad.. made him seems abit badder.. wonder why.. I prefer his puppy cutsey look. As usual, cuddley cuddley with meng while talking and he do not allow me to dye my hair! Aiming for the lastest red hair do with my short bob look.. meng says that since I dye my hair black on my own.. I had to wait for the re-growth! Eeeks!!! Wonder how long!
Anyway, the catching up with him was short since he got work to do and vern flew off in shyness.
Down came the rain! Pouring and cold, damn! Why are we stuck at fareast!! Ok.. all thanks to me for wanting to gossip about meng meng! Lolz. Lucky for us, kb knows the bus to take to taka … and anyway.. we still had to get drench.. wahahah
Upon reaching wisma, the crazy shopaholics gals came to live! We browse many of the shops.. bitching about the prices and the sizes!!! Yix was STARVING and had to go back home before we even begin our crazy clothes hunt! Poor boy! Lol.. anyway, he keep thinking that I am younger than him! Snort!
Settled in pepper lunch for our dinner and I love the meat!! Roars!!! Bitch and catch up with each other. Unlike the last time where vern and myself will crawl home together, this time around, I have my guy to fetch me.
The bitching ended at about 10 with the gals meeting allan .. I was too lazy to go anyway.. and me going up to the taka taxi stand to catch my guy. Surprise surprise!!! He got my cute cute DT in the car!! So sweet!!! Omg.. gushing already! DT try to squeese him body throught the car and got stuck! Super excited boy he is! Omg omg omg! I am just sooooo gushy!! Daddy and DT came n fetch mummy! Lol.. sweetest thing! So proud of Philip for having to bring DT along the ride and to make that extra effort to bring him. *Gushing once more* just this extra effort made me love him more!!!!!
With DT in my arms.. we ride home.. naughty DT had the cheek to fall asleep in my arms like a baby… so sweet… so cute… so lovely…

Anyway.. dear dear.. u very sweet leh! Lolz.. okok. Enough of my gushing…. But thanks for this effort! Love u as long as we are together…

break from work

ok... longgggggggggggg break from work.. not in the right mood to work today, guess its due to the fact that most peeps in the office were either on MC or leave or jus disappear ..
had been a crappy week for me due to the weather, i was so down with the weather that 1 min i was happy and jumping and the nxt min, i crumbled as i was suffering from fever.. ya ! the main word is suffering! ! i had no damn idea why i am falling sick so often and so serious! darn! it feels shitty to get fever... not just having no mood to eat... i cant even channel enough energy to play with dt..
dt had a great trim at royal pets by mark.. hahah can see dt's pretty face and pretty eyes now! gush gush... i m gushing about my cute dt again! ok.. i m just bored and i dun feel like doing work..
cant tell how much i miss mommy! there were days where mum would cook for me,iron for me, wash my clothes for me and EVERYthing for me.. now its more like if i dun do it.. the room seems like a after war of the the hurricane... damn! i wonder where the dust come from! anyway, out of sight out of mind... too shag out to clean up properly....

anyway, wkend is just round the corner!!! wonder y was i so excited... hahahaha maybe it jus mean no work! wahaha..
planning to sentosa ... miss the sea.. sun.. n funny swimming dt... muacks!

wahaha mushy me..

Officially sick!! Down with cough, flu and fever.. grrrr… slept the whole day till now and decide to just wake up abit and to blog about me me me.. been a long long time time since I last blog.. lolz

Nothing spectacular happen in my life anyway.. the same old boring me….

Stayed home during the wkend at my parents place and I came to realise about how I really need this man in my life. A weekend without him don’t seems like a great deal but a weekend without him sleeping by my side seems werid. We don’t seems to have the most fantastic and happening life but just plainly with this guy seems to make me happy. Werid that we kinda like skip the dating part and went to the “marriage” stage pretty fast. If its in the last era, I would have scream, shout and yell about how I hate to be bound! Guess it’s the age that is catching up on me, would have prefer the stable life of just being BORING than to have a life that is so happening that is filled with quarrels and fights. How many places can you hang out ? how many clubs can you go to? I rather swap these for this stable life that I had managed to crawl myself into.

Ok.. more mushy things ahead :

Thanks for loving me, thanks for being with me and thanks for giving in to me for every unreasonable behaviors that I had you put up with. Thanks for loving DT the way I love him and thanks for being with me.

Lets hope this wont end ya?