Feeling out of sort

I am officially feeling like shit. More shitty than ever.

The decision for job change happen. Due to the fact that my current coy is in a bad financial situation. To stay and help out or to leave for a more financially stable coy? The decision to leave or stay had been driving me nuts.

The important part is me being sick again. Down with flu since fri and I had a hell of a bad time in the worst shape ever. Flu , cough , fever. You name it I got it. Pulling myself out of bed was like a chore and getting up even for dinner sucks.

Anyway, for those who know what bullshit that had been happening in my life recently, I decide to forgive and forget. Like wat darling hersheys told me, in life there are so much shit, its better to forgive and forget rather than to hold on to it and sulk over it.

i still cant get it to why am i still feeling out of sort lately. everything and i mean everything seems so wrong to me. r/s , work , life, play, family. u name it, i felt it. everything just feel soooo shitty. the only consolation prize i have is DT. ya, he is the only feel good here. i guess he got affected by me too. snoring more and getting ALOT more manja to me jus as i am manja to him. we snore together, nua together, manja together and just plainly wanna spend time with each other only. i know i sound crazy but i seriously cant help it and i got no idea why. no one offend me, jus yet. yet i jus feel sianz and down. maybe its the PMS. yes, i am still PMS-ing after so long and god knows why he let me suffer in such pain till now and do not let me get it over and done with. grrrr, i wan to be a female no more. feel so shitty. shitty shitty shitty.

nothing perks me up at all! even ciggies taste bad. wine / drinks taste yucky. and coffee dun make me wake up.

can someone tell me whats going onz? or can someone help me???