Thursday, 9 August 2007

when life ends..

It had been a crazy week for me… grandma passed away last fri.. got calls from mum at 845am when I reach the office…. Mum said tat grandma wanted us to come back and all of us had to rush back home.. I even asked E whether should I take full or half day.. E scolded me and ask me to cut the crap and take full day off… as at 9.30am there is still no one available from my department yet. So I had no choice but to draft an email and forward to all of them. Reach home damn fast and in the short time, all of us were back home together.. grandma officially passed away at 1pm. It did not hurt as much as we thought it would, cause all of us were off rushing to get all the necessary work done.

The whole funeral was not tat of a sad affair.. and thanks to all of u lovely people who came over…. Guess seems like all of us expect this to happen 1 day and guess all of us are mentally ready for it. Well, the hardest part of the funeral was to stay through the night, lucky for me, kel was there and we talk.. chat…. Had not chat this way with him for a long long time.. but the late nights really drove us nuts.. by last night.. both of us KO..

DT was a really good boy thru this.. guess he know whats going on and he never once whine or cry when we leave him alone in the house..

on the last day of the funeral, the look on dad made me cry.. 1st time in my life that I see my own father teared… mum cried hard too.. guess the tears that was found on dad drove me crying too.. suddenly, just so suddenly.. I wish all these is just a dream.. .

when home…. DT was soo happy to see all of us back home.. both him and me cuddle and jus snore… shag tat we were… DT worked hard.. taking care of the house and responding to the noises tat outsiders created.. now hardworking DT could finally rest.. .

Thought collecting the ash of grandma is the easier task compared to the funeral but its not so. It hurted me most… imagine a living human is being reduced to nothing but bones and ashes in a small tupperware.. some may think that its funny.. to me , its sad.. my grandma, reduce to nothing but some white calcium in a box!!

If life is to be reduced to something so insignificant, so small.. I learnt a lesson… to live my each day to the fullest as at the end of life, we are nothing but white ashes and calcium.. why do we have to hate and dislike our life and people around us? Why cant we enjoy the love around us? For all the hate that we filled and bottled up, we are jus ash to end it.. J

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